Heads I Win, Tails You Lose
Men may not know it or believe it, but they are playing in a rigged game.
That doesn’t mean individual men cannot be successful in a business venture, the entertainment industry, sport or simply being a good dad and contented employee. Many men are wealthy, comfortable and content.
A man may only ever become aware of the rigged nature of this game when the shit metaphorically hits the fan.
Fortunately, for some of us, that day never comes.
But it is has and will for countless numbers of men.
What exactly am I referring to?
I have been aware of the cognitive dissonance of feminists and our society when to comes to gender related issues for some time.
But the recent riots in America brought this concept into sharp focus for me and before long I felt overwhelmed by the sheer raw truth of this concept.
As thugs and ANTIFA gang members burned and looted cities across the United States many media outlets and celebrities were explaining why so many of these looters were in fact themselves victims of a society which oppressed and devalued them. This is why they steal clothing, jewelry, flat screen televisions and Play Stations.
It’s a cry for help.
It’s defiant stand against injustice.
It’s a pushback against centuries of abuse.
It is a breaking of the shackles of slavery which still weigh down every black American, be it Lebron James tweeting encouragement to the looters and arsonists from his multi- million-dollar mansion or billionaire Oprah Winfrey expressing her grief online.
Barack Obama and his wife Michele, and a large number of rich, powerful people from both sides of the political aisle have used their public platforms to denounce the death of George Floyd (as they should) and to point to that horrendous murder as just the tip of a very racist iceberg. They speak of oppression and systemic bigotry. They openly support the arson, looting and bashing.
Was young Tony Timpa a victim of racial violence? Tony was a white man who called the police in the hope that they could help him.
Timpa’s death in the parking lot of an adult video store came after he called 911, saying he was off his medication for schizophrenia and depression and needed help.
He was handcuffed and placed on the ground. He was physically restrained and could be heard saying: “You’re gonna kill me!”
He did indeed die.
Could I not take this incident and claim it is another example of the violent and abusive manner in which men are restrained by the police?
Would I be justified in pointing to statistics which show how men are far more likely than women to be gunned down by police or suffer bodily harm due to excessive force?
Most people would laugh or suggest I was a fool.
Men are mistreated and abused more than women!
Ridiculous! There’s a reason for this unpleasant fact. Men are more violent, aggressive and likely to break the law than women and they place themselves in dangerous situations.
Now try to respond with the same argument to some of the world’s most rich and powerful people who say oppression and racism is the only reason black men are dying at the hands of the police.
You would face an immediate and frightening back lash.
Racist. Bigot. Victim blamer! Shame on you! In today’s volatile climate you might even be physically assaulted or worse.
Do you see that something quite astonishing happens when George Floyd becomes a man, rather than a black man or African American?
One label makes him a heroic victim who will forever stand as a symbol of American minorities’ fight for equality under the law and in the eyes of every citizen.
The other makes him a statistic and nothing more. A bit like Tony Timpa or Shaun King (a deaf unarmed white man gunned down by police). Their deaths don’t fit a narrative or create rage.
These celebrities and media outlets like CNN and MSNBC have done everything in their power to present the rampaging street thugs as victims of an unjust, oppressive system who are responding in an appropriate manner.
Their iron clad proof for this systemic oppression is provided in the form of statistics which indisputably show us that blacks are disproportionately represented in America’s prison system and blacks receive harsher penalties for their crimes.
This is a subject of endless debate and outrage in our communities here in Australia. The issue is not on the same scale in Australia but the sentiments and anger are the same.
Black men disproportionately fill our prisons.
Men are disproportionately residing in prison systems the world over. 93% of prisoners in America are men. There is a far more disproportionate representation between men and women’s incarceration than the gap which exists between black and white men.
The sentencing gap (time spent in prison for similar crimes) is also far bigger when comparing men to women than it is between blacks and whites in America.
There are studies that indicate that men aren’t necessarily more criminal by design but there indeed is an institutional bias against them. For example, men are regularly given much longer sentences and “female arrestees are also significantly likelier to avoid charges and convictions entirely, and twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted.”
This gender gap is about six times as large as the racial disparity that Prof. Starr found in another recent paper. (Linked in earlier paragraph)
How is such a startling statistic almost unknown by all but a handful of
academicians? Why do these raw numbers not shock us to our core and have us demanding answers which explain this incredible imprisonment and sentencing gap?
People scream in outrage about the injustice of sentencing disparities between black and white prisoners even though it is only 10% compared to 63% between men and women.
What if I were to corner a feminist and ask her a couple of questions?
Does the fact that being a man means you are twice as likely to serve time in prison than a woman who committed the same crime disturb you?
Does the fact that men are given 63% longer prison terms than women who commit the same crime disturb you?
Does this not clearly indicate that men are the victims of systemic prejudice and oppression under our judicial system?
I think I know how she would respond.
“Well, men commit all the crime and murder, so they deserve to be in prison!”
It is truly shocking when you come to understand that even after people are made aware of this grossly disproportionate gender sentencing gap it elicits no shock, anger or outrage.
When any minority adopted as a virtue signaling symbol is disproportionately jailed, this is compelling evidence of their oppression and abuse.
If you dared to suggest that perhaps the minority disproportionately commit more crime you would be instantly branded a racist and a bigot and a supporter of white supremacy.
A rigged game my friends.
The very same evidence used to prove the systemic oppression of one group (minorities) is used to prove the criminality and toxic nature of the second group (men).
All that has changed is the identity of the victim, yet the narrative swings 180 degrees the moment the disproportionately incarcerated victims become men.
Let’s look at another oft repeated talking point in society when the subject of racism or bigotry is discussed.
A slam dunk argument in support of the premise that LGBTQ people are oppressed and considered disposable in our society is to cite suicide rates.
It seems clear that in order for men to be recognized as suffering injustice or oppression they must be coloured or in a minority group (tribe).
Please read this linked article on the rise of female suicide in Australia.
Here is the opening paragraph:
The number of Australians who took their own lives surpassed 3,000 last year for the first time, new figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) have revealed.
In 2015, there were 3,027 people who died by suicide — 2,292 were men and 735 were women
The article’s headline is focused on an increase in female suicides and features a photograph of a despondent woman yet it concedes men are killing themselves at over three times the rate of women!
In 2015, 56 girls between the ages of 15 and 19 ended their lives, up from 38 in 2014.
“The numbers are not large but certainly the fact that it is a 45 per cent increase in a one-year period certainly needs good investigation,” Ms. Murray said.
“I think we need to be looking very carefully at the type of suicide prevention programs we’re delivering.”
Even when men are openly acknowledged as the overwhelmingly most negatively impacted by a societal scourge, it garners no cries for change or calls for investigations.
The suicide of gay and trans people is always raised as proof of societies loathing for these minority groups. Why else would a person kill themselves other than the fact they carry a feeling of utter hopelessness and worthlessness?
Board member of the Trans United Fund Brynn Tannehill and author of the linked article wrote:
If we want to end the scourge of suicide, it’s time we stop trying to fix transgender people.
It’s time to fix society.
When was the last time anyone outside of our bubble demanded the same for men?
When was the last time anyone questioned a society in which approximately 2200 men kill themselves annually or demanded this society “fix itself” in order to address this terrible problem? (Australian statistics)
Men, we are told, are their own worst enemies when it comes to early deaths or suicide. Their toxic masculinity has taught them to lock up their feelings and not seek help when they are depressed.
It’s our fault for dying at such high rates.
In fact, one study has openly stated that older white men kill themselves at the highest rate because they are privileged!
Colorado State University’s Silvia Sara Canetto says:
White older men, however, may be less psychologically equipped to deal with the normal challenges of aging, likely because of their privilege up until late adulthood, Canetto asserts.
Minorites suicide rates- proof of marginalized status in society.
Men’s suicide rates-they need to break out of their toxic masculinity bonds and talk more about their feelings!
No matter how badly affected men are by any calamity, disease or legal injustice they can ever achieve victim status.
Any attempt to bring the injustices perpetrated upon men as a demographic into the public arena for discussion and review is met with rage, mockery, denigration and censorship.
The bitter irony of the endless stories of men being victims of their own toxic natures and lacking in self-awareness or an ability to express their pain or cry out for help, is the fact that when men do exactly what these “experts” demand, they are mocked, taunted, denigrated and abused.
Clementine Ford is a leading feminist in our country who proudly proclaims she bathes in male tears and enjoys it. We have countless examples of feminists calling men seeking justice for their gender snowflakes and whiny sooks.
When I gathered with a few hundred other people to hear some speakers address men’s issues in the city of Melbourne, we had to have a cordon of police to protect us from a mob of raging feminists and ANTIFA types who called us Nazi Pigs, white supremacists and women haters throughout the speeches. Our own Robert Brockway was one of those speakers.
There was not a word of hate spoken during our rally, yet the sight of men gathering (with their female friends and family members) to talk about male problems was infuriatingly offensive to the feminist mob.
Our peaceful gathering was framed as a meeting of woman hating Neanderthals who are definitely far right and probably white supremacists too. They said the police had to separate the two opposing groups inferring our quiet, friendly group were just as eager to come to grips with the foul mouthed, angry mob who bashed drums and made noise in order to drown out our speakers.
This happens every time men attempt to gather and focus on issues impacting their lives.
When men attempted to gather and hear a speech from Warren Farrell about male suicide, we saw some of the most vitriolic, vindictive and rage fueled abuse it is possible to witness. Feminists literally spat in the faces of the young men as they tried to enter the auditorium. They were called fucking cunts and rape apologists. They were physically prevented from entering the building.
Why won’t men express their vulnerability and emotions? What a sick joke.
What disingenuous and seriously damaged people there are in this world. Feminism seems to be a refuge for most of them.
No group of men have ever prevented women from attending a speech by another woman on an issue pertaining to women’s health or for any other reason in any western society. Never.
I challenge someone to prove me wrong.
Yet this horrific mob behaviour received minimal coverage and no expression of outrage anywhere, including the very university on whose grounds this occurred.
Men can never be victims.
Just try to imagine what would have happened had a large group of men spat in the faces of women attempting to attend a talk on female victims of domestic violence. Imagine if these men placed their faces up close to the women’s faces and told them they were “fucking cunts” and prevented them from entering the building.
It makes me sick to my stomach to this very day.
Men cannot complain, cry or ask for help, for if they do, they will be shamed. This is an established fact. Even now, after ten years of advocacy for men on this site, it is women who are the only ones to have a voice for men in the broader public sphere and be assured they will at least have a chance to be heard.
Yet Clementine Ford talks of male power and the patriarchal oppression of women. Men silenced. Men shackled? Hilarious.
Men run the world.
Men are entitled, privileged pigs.
Boys are not stupid. They understand how this game works.
Men can never be victims.
When a man pays a woman for sex, we say he is exploiting her. This must be the only transaction where the person receiving the money is portrayed as the victim.
Why do men pay for sex? “Society says they can and the law says they can,” says Mia. “You must ask yourself, what are they buying? It’s power. It’s a very powerful thing to have control of somebody’s body in that way. It’s a power fix and they know it.”
Who is exploiting who? It’s a business transaction. An exchange. Yet only one side of this story is overwhelmingly presented in the movie world or MSM-women are the victims.
When an adult woman molests and rapes a boy, men say “Half your luck!” with a wink and a nod. Women insist that this kind of rape is not to be compared with the criminal action of a man who has sex with an underaged girl.
When society condemns men to the role of breadwinner and a life in the (at times) grinding, soul destroying, back breaking, life- risking world of paid labor, feminists call this privilege
When baby boys have their genitals mutilated in the name of a religion or simply to please the mother who prefers the aesthetic appeal of a circumcised penis- any suggestion that this is a gross injustice or that the little boy is a victim of a cruel , unnecessary violation is met with laughter or a dismissive roll of the eye.
“it cannot be compared to FGM!”
“It is for hygienic reasons.”
“He won’t remember this moment of pain.”
The final comment, a most common defense of this butchery, is perhaps the most offensive and moronic. As I mentioned in the comment section of the wonderful article linked above, if that is the standard set for assessing the level of criminality in an action, Bill Cosby should be released from prison immediately.
Is there a starker measure of the lengths our society will go to in order to ensure no male can be viewed as a victim?
Little boys and babies have died during botched circumcisions or suffered terrible infections and damage to their penises. Yet people continue to scoff at those who oppose circumcision with the scorn usually reserved for flat earthers or those who claim to have been kidnapped by aliens.
When two people fall into bed in a drunken stupor and fumble about before finally consummating their lust fueled grope, the man is often called a rapist the following morning if the woman feels uncomfortable about what happened or worried about what others may think.
No heavily intoxicated man could ever claim he was used and abused by a woman who took advantage of his vulnerable state. Does this happen? It certainly does. Has any woman ever been charged with sexual assault or rape of a drunken man?
Men can never be victims.
In the world of politics, a man, can never be a victim. He may be ruthlessly chewed up and spat out by his own party. He may be stabbed in the back, belittled, humiliated, have his personal life ripped open and exposed to the public but he will never be regarded as a victim.
This is not sexist.
It is not misandric.
It is not unjust.
It is simply politics.
Trump and countless other male politicians have had their physical appearance ruthlessly analyzed and critiqued by the mainstream media. Trump makes no comment nor does any other man who has his physical features denigrated. No man in politics would dare to complain. It would end his career.
Diddums-did someone say a mean word about your fat tummy? This sook is supposed to be our commander in chief?
Men must suck it up.
Governor Gretchen Whitmer was outraged by some comments from anonymous online trolls regarding her “curves” which she denounced as sexist before adding:
“I’m tough. I can take it.” It then became a crusade for all women and girls.
In my speech I was encouraging people to see the humanity in one another in this cruel political environment. In an era when so many women are stepping up to lead, I’m hoping people will focus on our ideas and accomplishments instead of our appearance.
Her message to other women and girls who have to deal with similar “garbage” was simple: “I’ve got your back.”
Such courage. An inspirational leader. She crusades for all women and girls! Someone complimented her curves.
Let’s get an ex -boyfriend of Gretchen’s onto Jimmy Kimmell’s show and have him discuss the size and sagginess of her breasts in front of a hysterical audience and see if she can maintain a dignified silence and resist the urge to question the morality or vulgarity of the people who set out to utterly humiliate her.
No need for her to worry, for it will never happen. That disgusting treatment is reserved for male politicians.
If a female politician’s policies or decisions are criticized -this is poisonous sexism at work.
If she is caught lying and questioned about it-she is being held to a higher standard than men and that is clearly sexist.
If she is involved in a scandal and this is exposed, she is a victim of sexism and held to a different standard.
Women are always the victim.
Men can never be a victim.
When a very wealthy self- made man marries an attractive woman and she decides to leave him not long after the confetti has been swept from the church-the splitting of all his hard earned assets and cash is seen as nothing less than he deserved and worthy of a “YOU GO GIRL!” from the hundreds of thousands of women who read about it over their morning latte.
He got what he deserved (even when it’s not apparent that he has done anything heinous or injudicious) because he is a man of means. Suck him dry girl.
Men can never be victims.
When, on the very rare occasion a rich self-made woman marries a man who later files for divorce and the courts in a very rare moment, apply the law equally, society is outraged. How dare that bastard take one cent of her money! What did that creep do to deserve any of the money she earned by the sweat of her brow? What a scumbag!
When it comes to domestic violence, men can rarely claim the role of victim. On the rare occasion when a man has succeeded in proving his partner beat him, abused him emotionally or destroyed his property, the consequences for the perpetrator are never commensurate with the punishment meted out to males.
Governments and organizations whose entire existence is supposedly dedicated to supporting victims of family violence coldly and very deliberately eliminate men from the story. We are repeatedly reminded by our governments and domestic violence organizations that their goal is to stop violence against women and their children.
It is unfathomable.
We see it everywhere we care to look. Billboards, picture theatre screens. train stations, subways, highways, television screens, (please watch this ad-this is what we have to endure in Victoria, Australia) newspapers and online.
Males as victims of domestic violence do not exist. Oh, MRA”s occasionally make some noise and there may be the rare concession that a handful of men do experience some level of violence in the home before quickly reiterating that women are the overwhelming majority of victims and the greatest threat to women and children in our society is the men who supposedly love them! Lies of course, but thrust down our throats nevertheless.
Men can never be victims.
For some indefinable reason, women ogling naked or even semi naked men is not objectification of the male body, Posters of men with rippling abs , big bulges in the crotch area and firm, tight glutes are not in any way demeaning males or setting impossibly high standards for your average man, causing him to spiral into depression, self-hatred and obsession with his body image.
Men admiring the naked or semi naked female is disgusting objectification. It is dehumanizing and leads to rape and abuse.
Magazines and posters which depict women with flawless skin, pert breasts and perfectly sculptured bodies are sexist and set impossibly high standards for women to achieve which leads to self-harm, depression and eating disorders.
Men can never be victims.
Violence perpetrated by a woman or women on a man is hilarious.
Countless advertisements, films and TV shows still regularly feature the obligatory man or teenage boy copping a kick in his testicles, a hard slap on his face, a punch in his gut, a dish or other heavy object hurled at him or smashed over his head. The perpetrator is almost exclusively a female which only adds to the hilarity.
When a man has his penis hacked off by an angry girlfriend or bitter wife, it is considered funny. Newsreaders will relay the story with the hint of a smirk and a little nod to the viewers,
“Ahem, men out there, let that be a warning-keep the wife happy! Now to Joanne with tonight’s weather!”
No matter how vicious, unprovoked, life threatening or soul destroying the savage attack on a man by his wife or girlfriend may be-the chuckle or fist pump from women is almost guaranteed an appearance.
We have all seen films or tv series where men are tortured, torn apart, blown up, decapitated, drowned, stabbed and shot in numbers too high to count. In the same movie a woman may be punched or raped. The reviewer pouts and frowns before suggesting that the rather gratuitous violence against the woman was disconcerting and rather offensive.
This is not a joke.
It is something I have seen routinely over the years. Game of Thrones is a good recent example.
Men can never be victims.
We have all been educated about nature’s sexism. Whenever a natural disaster occurs, we are invariably informed that women have been most affected by it.
Women are most affected by climate change.
Women are most affected by earthquakes
Women are most affected by tsunamis.
Women are most affected by the corona virus
Women are most affected by any natural disaster
Women are most affected by poverty.
Women are most affected by war
Women simply suffer more than men.
Here’s the proof:
Which is the weaker sex when it comes to pain? It may be hard to say since women and men have different experiences with pain.
New research has found that women report more pain throughout their lifetime. Compared to men, women feel pain in more areas of their body and for longer durations.
Imagine if a study found that men suffered more than women based upon the fact that they report (complain) feeling pain more often!
The headline would be something along these lines.
Study finds men whine and moan more than women when they feel pain.
Study shows women are able to endure their pain and demonstrate a greater capacity to suffer in silence.
The study found that men have a higher tolerance for pain and tend to be less emotional about their physical suffering.
In another set of experiments, volunteers were asked to put their arms in an ice water bath. Men were found to have higher pain thresholds (the point where they began to feel pain), as well as higher pain tolerances (the point where the pain became too much).
“Social and psychological factors cannot be ignored,” Keogh said. “We have found that women will focus on the emotional response to stress.”
In contrast, men typically think only of the sensation itself, which may explain their higher thresholds and tolerances.
No articles triumphantly proclaiming men are far more tolerant of their pain and suffering!
One can only wonder about news stories and headlines if the study had found women were able to tolerate more pain than men.
No-it is framed as women suffer more. That fits the endless narrative very nicely thank you very much!
It’s a rigged game.
When more women die as a result of a natural disaster, it is evidence that they are most badly affected.
When more men are killed by a disease or war, women are still more negatively impacted.
Didn’t Hillary alert us to the fact that women are the primary victims of war many years ago? They lose their husbands, fathers and sons.
We read endless tales of the sex trafficking of women in Africa, Asia and the Middle East yet men and boys are kidnapped in their tens of thousands and forced into and tens of thousands of boys are forced to fight in armies.
To understand just how disgusting our media coverage of this human rights issue is, read this Wikipedia link on “child soldiers”. The word boy or boys is not used once! It is child and children from the beginning to the end. This is a common practice and just another method used to allay any idea that males suffer oppression and injustice on a massive scale. Here’s a sample of their gender bigotry.
Children in the military are children (defined by the Convention on the Rights of the Child as people under the age of 18) who are associated with military organisations, such as state armed forces and non-state armed groups. Throughout history and in many cultures, children have been involved in military campaigns. For example, thousands of children participated on all sides of the First World War and the Second World War. Children may be trained and used for combat, assigned to support roles such as porters or messengers, or used for tactical advantage as human shields or for political advantage in propaganda.
In the linked article regarding sex trafficking, they make it abundantly clear that the majority of victims are women and girls. Yet a substantial minority are in fact boys.
According to a new report from the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), the vast majority of all human trafficking victims – some 71 per cent – are women and girls and one third are children.
I could focus on workplace deaths and homelessness-two areas which overwhelmingly harm men but are most often presented in gender neutral terminology or with regard to homelessness, still focus on the needs of women at the expense of the majority-men.
Those who sleep “rough” on the streets are mostly men but this category is often confused with those who don’t live in their home.
Where are people staying?
- Improvised dwellings, tents or sleeping out 7% (8,200)
- Supported accommodation for the homeless 18% (21,235)
- Staying temporarily with other households 15% (17,725)
- Boarding houses 15% (17,503)
- Other temporary lodging 1% (678)
- “Severely” overcrowded dwellings 44% (51,088)
Males comprise three quarters of people considered by the ABS to be experiencing homelessness in boarding/rooming houses on Census night and just over two-thirds of people sleeping rough or in improvised dwellings.
Yet this issue is never considered to be a gendered one. Issues never are when men are the most affected.
Workplace deaths are almost exclusively the deaths of men. Yet even on the official Safe work Australia cite-the page on deaths does not mention the gender of those who have been killed at any point in its presentation!
Not one word about who is dying in their place of work every week.
They are Australian workers.
They are people.
They are bystanders.
Here’s a little sample:
Year-to-date 2020: Preliminary worker deaths by industry of workplace
As at 21 May, there have been 76 Australian workers killed at work in 2020.
In 2019, 174 Australian workers were fatally injured while working, compared with 144 workers in 2018.
This website has a side panel with additional statistics. Oh-Surely, I will find a gender breakdown of the dead workers there.
Here are the categories:
- Fatality statistics – by age group
- Fatality statistics – by industry
- Fatality statistics – by occupation
- Fatality statistics – by state/territory
Can you believe it?
It really strains the imagination when you try to fathom why a government website would not present a breakdown on the gender of who is dying.
It’s almost as though they are trying to conceal the fact that it is men dying at work. What other logical possible explanations could there be?
The very same government is meticulous and at times deceitful in the way they make gender the central focus of their reporting on domestic violence
There are no “people” or “family members” dying or being injured.
They are women.
We must do something about it-NOW!
Men and boys die and suffer too, yet they are invisible.
This has been a long ride. I occasionally feel as if my eyes have been opened or I have been red pilled for the first time when I read the paper or watch the news.
There are many areas of male disadvantage I have not touched on. They may be a focus for another day.
I know that some MRA’s hate the notion of victimhood or the idea of claiming it for men. The word has been stained by the twisted and narcissistic desire of so many people to claim victimhood status without a valid reason. They crave the spotlight, attention, sympathy and the delicious comfort of never being responsible or accountable because they are a victim.
This sick modern-day phenomenon should not alter the fact that the word victim is still a valid one and it is a word that should be used in relation to those whose lives have been torn apart through no fault of their own.
But sadly, I will remind you one more time-men as a collective, can never be victims.
Original Story on AVFM
Author: Mark Dent
These stories are from AVoiceForMen.com.